Episodes

When she started having seizures, she was 10 weeks old. It was the final ‘marker’ to her diagnosis. She’s had so many since. I can’t even count. However, I remember that first one as if it was yesterday (and it was 10 years ago). It was like my heart was ripped out. Honestly, it was like a death. It was the same feeling that I had when my dad passed away. It also meant that there was no denying her diagnosis and our confirmation that we were in Holland.

We have become more benign to them. At least, we are so with the small ones. Those last a few minutes and average from one to three a day. They are more tolerable for her and anyone that’s around to see them. Some folks do not even notice. We sometimes use the analogy of hiccups. i.e., sort of annoying and you just need to wait for them to go away.

Then there are the strong ones… the ones that trigger a call from school or a run up the stairs to her bedroom and sometimes a run to the medicine cabinet (for extra medicine to stop them). Those are unfair and unbearable to watch.

Last night was one of those… After we put the kids to bed, I sat on the couch to catch up on an episode of "Lost." I heard a slight tapping or maybe it was mother’s instinct (?) As I approached her room, I could hear the heaviness of her breathing. She was in a sweat and her left fist was clenched. She would stiffen every few seconds. I couldn’t catch her eyes. She was off in a distance – not focused on anything. I called for my husband… We were unable to get her attention. Finally, she gave Daddy a big smile as the seizure continued. Then, after more minutes, it stopped... Thankfully, no “extra” medicine was needed... not this time. Eventually, she would fade off to sleep. She slept somewhat peacefully. That is more than I can say for us (her parents)... I thought: will I hear her through the monitor at the side of my bed? Will I sleep through an episode that would have needed medical intervention?

So, I guess that I need to apologize… ‘Cause Our North Star Dog isn’t just for ****… The dog is for her parents and siblings as well… Sorry and thanks! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Footnote: Episode = A show that is distinctive and separate although partof a larger series; Also, a term that the neurologist uses to describe a seizure event/occurrence.